Dear Dave: You Can Be Really Sensitive (in a good way)

Dave — I am sometimes in awe of just how sensitive you can be.

I bet you don’t hear that too much. My guess is people who communicate with you can be quick to point out how harsh you seem to them.  But I don’t think that’s fair, Dave.

They simply don’t listen to you enough. Because if we listen to you long enough, listeners will hear that call that comes in from the wife who just lost her husband or the parent who recently lost a child.

You deal with grieving people with amazing sensitivity.

You take a softer tone of voice, you slow down, and you listen.  And then almost invariably you encourage them to focus on what matters most now:  healing.

You’ll tell them to not make any money decisions for 3 to 6 months.  That’s really good money advice, which isn’t surprising coming from you.

But it’s good advice in general for those in grief.  Making decisions while you are grieving, whether money decisions or not, can cause even more pain.  Like you say, when someone is grieving they aren’t thinking straight.

I think there is another emotion at play in grieving people Dave, and it’s one you also talk about, at least in other contexts.  Fear.

Grieving people certainly grieve, but they are also afraid…about what’s going to happen to them and others they care about.  It’s the same fear you talk about with those who are facing bankruptcy.  When you speak to those folks Dave, you talk to them about fear.

One thing you do that too many people who dismiss you don’t catch is how willing you are to not only listen to grieving people; you offer to help them, frequently offering to arrange financial coaching

You do a great job Dave, but you probably know that already.  More people should know that about you.

Until later,

Thad

 

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